How Strong Is Your Faith?

As I lay in bed this morning, contemplating how the bills will be paid, I heard myself say, “Where’s your faith?”  I immediately responded with, “I have very strong faith.”  This dialogue reminded me of the concept of “white knuckling” from the 12-Step rooms.  Used to describe an addict who is holding on tightly to sobriety because he’s terrified he’ll slip, it was an accurate analogy to my situation.

I realized I was white-knuckling my faith, willing it to be strong instead of knowing that it was.  What an enormous difference.  The need to believe your faith is strong only occurs when you live in the past or future.  Thinking about the bills this morning, instead of trusting that I’ve listened to the guidance I’ve asked for, and stand exactly where I need to be, yanked me into a future that doesn’t exist.  And opened the door for the illusion of ego to step right in and take control.  Returning to the moment enabled me to be strong in my faith instead of trying to hold on to a “strong” faith.